'I was never supposed to approve your vacation': Boss tries to renege on employees Christmas vacation that he approved in October

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  • 01
    r/antiwork u/unclelister 1d "I was never supposed to approve your vacation" What do I do from here?
  • 02
    Today my boss calls me stammering about how he wasn't supposed to approve my vacation request, he didn't know what he was thinking, etc. I told him we already made plans and he said he's going to discuss it with the higher ups further tomorrow. He mentioned maybe having HR in the call when we inevitably have to talk about it further so that's going to be something to look forward to.
  • 03
    Months ago I put in a vacation request for the week of Christmas to visit my extended family in New York. It was approved by my boss on October 2nd and then my mom started making plans - booking hotels, letting our extended family know so they could plan etc.
  • 04
    I know this is a pain in the for him and the company because everyone else has had Christmas week vacations denied and then me getting an exception would no doubt be unfair and cause a stink, but that's the farthest my sympathy goes. We already made the plans. I haven't seen my grandpa since covid hit, he's old.
  • 05
    I didn't apologize or try to compromise I flat out told him that oh well we already made plans. But I'm really bad at confrontation. Help me prepare for what they might try to do? I actually really like this job (full time work from home) so I don't want to get on anyone's bad side even though I know it's not my problem I still don't want to give people a reason to hate me. I also know my boss isn't my friend in this scenario but it did sound like he was being genuine when he said he was discuss
  • 06
    I've forwarded the vacation approval emails to my personal email, I don't know what else to do in preparation. Any advice? I'm so bad at confrontation I feel like I'm probably going to cry if we all get into a formal meeting thing Imao help
  • 07
    Toolatrecrew • 1d I'd say I understand you need to discuss with higher ups regarding your plans to cover for me during my approved vacation. I don't know that I could add much to a call with HR on how you will cover for me. If you need me to allocate some time next week to train people to cover for me let me know. It's approved. You are going. This is not your problem.
  • 08
    Think about this way. If you told them back in October. I'm going to have this project done by December 15. Go ahead and tell the clients and put it into the revenue projections. Then the week before you say "Oh I never should have committed to that December 15 date. We will need to adjust everything " What do you think the reaction would be? If the boss made a mistake he's going to have to own it. Either though coverage or I suppose by making you some outrageous offer like “We really effed up.
  • 09
    Tharatan 1d I like that project analogy, and it could be useful in the conversation to help OP reframe the narrative and make management see how unreasonable such short notice is. In the end, if OP is even willing to entertain giving in, it should be with a written statement from HR that all monies spent on bookings will be reimbursed by X date. 592
  • 10
    WelcomeFormer. 1d And that is what he needs to do, give them an offer they CAN refuse. If they don't like it say that's the point, I don't want this ridiculous sum of money I want my vacation. I'm taking this offer as a favor to you and if you're going to treat it as otherwise I rescind my offer. "Sounds like it's gonna be wild, lawl" 168
  • 11
    sinofmercy. 1d Also since an old family member is involved, OP doesn't want to miss an opportunity to see a family member for a company that won't even remember their face 5 years after they leave. That kind of regret can take a lifetime to get through. 4 162
  • 12
    kawherp • 1d The less you talk, the better. Do not engage in discussion. Write down a few phrases as we've given here, and repeat them. "My leave was approved and I will be absent on these days." Repeat it like a broken record. There is nothing to discuss. Every question they ask gets the same answer. "My leave was approved in October and I will not be present on these days."
  • 13
    Do not argue. Do not apologize. Do not explain. Be the boring grey rock who repeats the same answer. "My leave was approved and I will not be present these days." Let them sputter. Let them rant. Breathe deeply and repeat the phrase. This is not your problem to solve and there is nothing to discuss.
  • 14
    If they try to bully you or imply you will not have a job.... repeat it again. "My leave was approved in writing and I will not be present these days." Deal with any fallout when you get back. Keep records of the approved leave in a safe place. For now, enjoy your trip! (edited to fix typos) Reply 41.2k
  • 15
    woolandneedles. 1d THIS is THE best advice. OP, please DO NOT fall into the "let's discuss trap"... As this poster is saying, the best thing to do during the discussion is to repeat the same thing over and over. If it make you fell better you can change the way you say the same line each time. They are going to try to make this YOUR problem. They are going to try several techniques...
  • 16
    Another poster said something else that is important also. It was: when you return, I would start looking for a new job. This is just not good. If you stick to the time off they will retaliate one way or another (believe me!). If you give in they will forever know they can bully you. Either way it is a test. Oh, and do NOT trust your boss. Don't feel sorry for his mess up. He will be the first to throw you under the bus in these discussion meetings. Wishing you the very best time off, rest, rela
  • 17
    QU Danonbass86 - 1d It's honestly like talking to cops. Just stop talking. Don't engage in conversation- it's actually a fishing trip. Say the bare minimum. Be polite and respectful, but don't give them the rope. ... 4256
  • 18
    jargonexpert 1d ● Do NOT give in. They're going to gaslight you and manipulate you into believing spending time with family is bad for business. Block it out and hold firm on your plans Reply 4237 ...
  • 19
    Semi-Pros-and-Cons • 1d You could try taking the moral high ground: "I'm the sort of person who values follow-through on commitments. I made a commitment to my family that I would be taking this trip. Likewise, you made a commitment to me that this time available for my vacation. I don't want to get into a situation where commitments are made with no regard to fulfilling them, and I'm sure you don't want that, either." Then before they can start arguing anything about that, throw in something li
  • 20
    GSTLT 1d ● Don't let them push you into accepting a punishment or agreeing to a wording like "if you don't show up you'll be considered to have resigned." If they try this, "I am not resigning. I was approved for this leave two months ago, made plans. based on approval you gave, and will be taking my approved vacation." If the worst comes and they fire you, apply for unemployment. If it gets declined, challenge it and make your case that they are at fault for the incident and trying to punish yo
  • 21
    laurasaurus5 • 1d Don't let them push you into accepting a punishment or agreeing to a wording like "if you don't show up you'll be considered to have resigned." On that note, if they say something like "when you get back from your trip, don't even bother showing up," that's meant to trick you into being a no call no show, which is a sneaky way they get around unemployment claims. ... 67

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